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When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times, by Pema Chodron
Download When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times, by Pema Chodron
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Review
“Perhaps what makes Pema’s message resonate so strongly with people, no matter what their religion or spiritual path, is its universality. Each of us has experienced heartache; how we interact with that feeling, Pema says, can create the possibility of a more joyful life.” —O, The Oprah Magazine “As one of Pema Chödrön’s grateful students, I have been learning the most pressing and necessary lesson of all: how to keep opening wider my own heart.” —Alice Walker, Pulitzer Prize–winning author and activist
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About the Author
Pema Chödrön is an American Buddhist nun in the lineage of Chögyam Trungpa and resident teacher at Gampo Abbey in Cape Breton, Nova Scotia, the first Tibetan Buddhist monastery in North America. She is the author of numerous best-selling books, including The Places That Scare You and Living Beautifully.
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Product details
Paperback: 176 pages
Publisher: Shambhala; Anniversary edition (June 7, 2016)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1611803438
ISBN-13: 978-1611803433
Product Dimensions:
5.3 x 0.6 x 8.2 inches
Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.6 out of 5 stars
1,079 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#1,027 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
I like Pema Chodron but sometimes I feel like her books are overly repeating. The content is good but it feels like each paragraph I read is essentially repeating what has already been said. No 'meat' in this book--not a bad read but it did not satisfy.
This book’s title caught my eye at a time when I felt like things were falling apart for me. I’ve long been open to the teachings of Buddhism and so I thought I might find some insight, even comfort, in Ms Chodron’s words.And I did, but this is not a “hand-holding,†“feel good†book. It’s blunt in its view of life as, I suppose, Buddhism tends to be. The feel of the whole was, to me, “suck it up and soldier on.†But do so with the insights of Buddhism and an enlightened point-of-view. And so when facing one of those inevitable times when we are losing it all, we can find an understanding of what we’re feeling when Ms Chodron says:"We react against the possibility of loneliness, of death, of not having anything to hold on to. Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth."She illustrates this by describing a pivotal moment in her life when things fell apart. In her youth, her husband left her and she felt that loss of her whole world with anger and fear. But out of that experience she found Buddhism, a new life and a new vocation. She eventually became thankful for the experience, and that is a major theme of the book—the idea that life is all beginnings and endings. If we can understand that, and accept it, we can go a long way in coping with the bad times.Fear is what we’re trying to cope with in those bad times. As she stated in the above quote, we are afraid of loneliness, death, and aimlessness. She asks us to understand that at the start of the book, and then goes on to offer insight to help us deal with it. She states what her whole book is about when she says:"What we’re talking about is getting to know fear, becoming familiar with fear, looking it right in the eye—not as a way to solve problems, but as a complete undoing of old ways of seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, and thinking."I could go on and on with such quotes—there are so many quotable passages in this book. Also ideas that have helped me. Such as that things are just not what we think they are; we really don’t know anything and so we must be careful in our judgments, even judgments as to what is good and what is bad (see chapter 1). Because we never know how things will turn out.When in emotional pain, people tend to return to those places they’ve found comfort in the past. There are times, though, when those places fail us, or don’t offer enough comfort. If you’re at such a place, then this book might be of help. It is likely to be, if you can understand and accept the basic cause of our unhappiness according to Buddhism. Ms Chodron states it as:"Thinking that we can find some lasting pleasure and avoid pain is what in Buddhism is called samsara, a hopeless cycle that goes round and round endlessly and causes us to suffer greatly."From there, you can go on to find out what you can do in your life to address samsara. And if you can find, ironically, that chasing happiness does not bring happiness, and running from pain does not eliminate pain, then you’ll be at a point where this book can help.
All of us face really hard times if we are alive and love lots of people. I love this book and give it as gifts when I know people are going through tough times. Pema Chodron has the unique ability to write in a way that you feel like a loving friend is giving you really solid, helpful, kind advice that is accessible. Her wise counsel and perspective throughs you a life jacket when you think you are going to drown. I read this book the first time when I was going through my divorce and read parts of it again when I lost my daughter to cancer. It is a book you will be glad to have and glad to give.
This book encouraged me to make some very positive changes in my life. However, I felt like halfway through the book, Pema forgot about the topic or ran out of content and focused on meditation for the last half. I was so disappointed. There were sections in the first few chapters that I underlined, but then I skimmed the last half.
Spot on the best book I've come across regarding shifting the mind around physical "inconveniences" or worse. I'm surprised that many around me have also read this but never shared it! I've been very vocal about how much this is helping me cope with life post cancer treatment!
I started experiencing severe anxiety and panic attacks recently. My therapist recommended Pema and I am so happy I bought this book. Each chapter is about 6 pages so I try to start every day by reading one. It helps me to set an intentional frame of mind for the day. I don't consider myself Buddhist, but I love her teachings and find myself identifying so closely with what she is saying.
This book is incredible. I purchased it for a mindfulness course, and loved it so much i bought a copy for my sister in law. Very helpful for anyone suffering with perfectionism, anxiety, or trauma. it's definitely a book that goes well with meditative practices!
Heals the Heart. I highly recommend the writings of Pema Chodron. When Things Fall Apart, speaks to the hurt, wounded or broken parts of us, helping each of us to be at peace as we heal.
i have been reading and re-reading this book for years and years. it is my go-to book during any difficult time, and i always glean something knew regarding my current situation. pema chodron's writing takes away a lot of the loftiness i've encountered while trying to read bhuddist self help books, but since pema has already gone through so much of the craziness of life, her lessons areextremely comprehensive and compassionate. i love this book because you can open it to any page and start reading and you will find something you can use. love it. thank you pema! i recommend all her books. the places that scare you is awesome and a good one for impulsive activity, including jumping to conclusions, anger, etc, is called don't bite the hook. those are my 3 favorites. oh, i guess it would help to mention my reasons for seeking out this genre of information: i went through a terrible breakup, moved across the country with my dog, the dog bit someone ferociously on the neck, i lost my dog and the house i was living at the time (on the same day as losing the dog), was outcast from my group of friends because they saw my dog as an extension of me, went to live in a basement apartment, started drinking heavily, and fell into a depression that consisted of me waking up, taking an ambien, and going back to sleep. then when i woke up again, i would just take more ambien until i fell asleep again. i lost about 15 pounds on my already 120 pound frame, and contemplated "disappearing" whenever i was awake. it was a completely sucktastic time. i do indeed credit pema for helping me see that i had to kick my butt into gear and grab ahold of the reins.
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